Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
 



The Deep Mystery Surrounding Us

Seven years ago, my dream self lived in a ramshackle wreck with a junky pit full of water in the backyard. My access to the pool of unconscious knowing was blocked with toxic debris. In fear of my surroundings, I constantly rebuilt my interior walls, making them thicker, allowing less light in each day. Psychic reality is very much like physical reality. I couldn’t wish my house clean and my water pure. I had to clean it myself, bit by bit. Each drawer had to be gone through, each memento examined. The things I saved held great power over me and couldn’t just be thrown away. But I could clean them and organize them, and examine them from every angle. Although loathsome, at first, each time I worked on them they held less power and I held more. Eventually I had the strength to dredge the pit. There in colors of green and black and red, I found bile and hate and rage, my rejected self. Her heroic defiance had saved me years ago but she didn’t suit my notion of worthiness so I had thrown her in the slime pit. She has grown to prefer the water and lives there still. But the water has been purified and she is now given the honor that is her due.

The passageways have been cleared to the unconscious psychic world, the source of dreams and paintings. I am reassured that my new back door will open to a reinvigorated dawn where the power of the masculine will lead me to the deep and limitless waters of the feminine. The submerged bridge supports me so that I may confidently explore those depths.

The dreams and paintings that have come to me from the unconscious/unseen world have been sent as gifts. They have been fashioned from my fears and my hopes to create a map leading to a place of self-knowing - a place where my fears no longer have me by the throat because they have been allowed to tell their secrets.


Dream:

I woke early thinking I had heard a noise by the back gate. Barefoot and in my nightgown, I went downstairs to investigate. It was dawn when I went outside, using the new back door. I saw no reason for the noise but discovered it had rained hard in the night. The puddles were deep and cold as I stepped out to see the huge basalt rocks which had miraculously thrust out of the ground in the night, like mushrooms after a rain. I climbed up, stepping from one to the next as I went towards the garden. It had become a deep limitless lake. I discovered a sunken dock. It sank even more as I stepped on the boards but I followed it to where the heart-shaped goldfish pond had been in my garden. The fish had grown to as much as 3 feet long and were no longer contained by the pond, but swam freely now. They were vibrant with health, there amongst the water lilies. The boardwalk was still beneath my feet, supporting me, even though I was up to my neck in water. I reached out to and felt kinship with the goldfish, amazed by the deep mystery surrounding us.


Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08