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Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
 



Fear


Today I received a copy of a journal that had published four of my paintings. Below them, in print, was my secret for all the world to see. My heart started to go a mile a minute and I was hot and cold all over; absolute Fear. So I went to my studio and painted the feeling. The five ghoulish faces around me go back to the early image, "Rape". The experience of that rape is the source of my greatest fears just as it is the source of my deeply hidden anger.

The bat/fly is my fear. It keeps me silent. At first I saw my silence as a beautiful butterfly, later I recognized it as the source of the poison which was destroying me.


Dream:

At first I thought it was a butterfly. It landed on my left hand and bit it. Then it flew to my right hand, sunk its teeth in and held on. It looked like a miniature bat. I tried to ask for help to get it off me, but I couldn't speak. The only sound I could make was arrgh. I knew it was the venom from this bat/fly that had robbed me of speech.


Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08