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Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
 



The Pain Tells Her She's Alive


After discussing the child in The Face Behind the Mask, Dr. W. suggested that I ask my inner child what she wants. This image is the answer. From looking at her, I decided that her needs would not be met by rocking her and telling her fairy tales. She wants the truth to be told. She wants to express her deepest feelings so that she can be truly alive again. Her pain convinced me that I must show my work. It is for this part of myself, the child Janie, who has always wanted “to tell” that I am going through all of this again. Whenever I want to back out of sharing my art and my life, I remember the impact this realization had on me. I reaffirm the promise I made to speak for the child I was and for the children who are now suffering.

I have felt so close, lately, to the child who experienced these horrible events. Her fears about telling have incredible resonance in my life, whether I am awake or asleep.


Dream:

A man was trying to put me at ease so that I could tell him something. I was afraid that someone would hear us and shoot me before I could tell him. We blocked the windows and turned on a loud fan so no one could hear. Then I became worried that if I told him, they would kill him for knowing.


Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08