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Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
 



Not Worth the Powder to Blow Her Up With


"You aren’t worth the powder to blow you up with” was one of my Dad’s choice remarks to us kids. Building self-esteem in his kids was a concept that never entered his mind.

When I awoke from this dream I immediately went to the store and bought a bigger palette knife. Painting with a palette knife seems like switching on masculine energy. Instead of using just the fingers and wrist action to paint, suddenly I am using my whole arm. I felt like I had let a tiger loose when I discovered this way to embody the masculine force in my art. It releases a highly emotional energy. It isn't surprising to me that the image is self-destructive since most of my repressed anger is directed inward.


Dream:

He wanted to lay down with the big cat instead of the kitty. The dream is the story of how it ate him. It started when he filled the animal house with crushed nuts. Then he went into the cat cage (cats don’t eat nuts so of course they were still hungry). He found a palette knife. It was in the drawer of a painting of a sideboard. Someone showed him how to use it and then things really got wild.


Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08