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Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
 



The Devouring Mother


When I was a child, I experienced my mother as unobtainable. Her parents had separated when she was eight years old, so her mother had also been unavailable. There was a chasm of unfulfilled love on the maternal line. This image expresses my feeling of being eaten alive by her when my parents retired near my home. They wanted me to take care of them, to mother them. I am appalled at myself for showing my mother in this light. However, in the process of therapy I can't censor feelings that are difficult to face, indeed, the crux of many problems.

It was a terrible conflict for me when my parents moved here. They wanted me to be attentive: to come to dinner several times a week, drop by daily, invite them to dinner, shovel snow off their roof, take care of their dog, play cards and tell them everything that was happening in my life. For the first time, my parents seemed interested in me. We were a family. Then I realized that I was being crowded out of my life. Part of me was cooperating fully and part of me was going bonkers.


Dream:

I was reading a letter from R. B. It had several enclosures. My Mom was reading over my shoulder. She was crowding me and I was quite annoyed with her. I gave her part of the letter hoping she would back off and read it. But she kept crowding me–wanting the part that I had.


Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08